Monday, May 2, 2011

One Year Married and Wiser, Too

  Ahh, one whole year. You know what I think my favorite part about this is? I mean, besides the whole being closer to my spouse, lots of great memories, yadda yadda? People may finally stop giving us marriage advice.

  In my experience, people like to share marriage advice that is pertinent to their marriage, but probably is not relevant to most other people's. And it's usually weird.

  My favorite was our home teacher coming over when we first moved to Oregon. He found out we were six months married, and immediately started throwing out "gems". He (like many others) gave us the whole "never go to bed angry" bit.

  Can I just say now that I think this is the stupidest advice ever? Think about it: the later you stay up, the harder it is to think clearly. The harder it is to think clearly, the more irrational you're going to be. Not to mention that the longer you argue, the faster your maturity age drops (going from rational reasoning to, "Yeah?! Well, your breath stinks right now!").

  What's wrong with taking a breather? Why fight it out, lose more sleep, and wreck your relationship when you  could sleep on it, wake up the next day, and realize you were both being stupid about something that probably doesn't even matter? (McKay is so sweet and lenient with my crazy ways, the only things we tend to argue about are stupid things--like if Aladdin is inappropriate for children since Jasmine is immodest. And, please, I'm right--that movie is a classic, so who cares? Plus, people in real life are immodest, and Jasmine is obviously not LDS.)

  The home teacher went on to say that he and his wife would "cheat" at this by handing the other a card that would say "We will discuss this in the morning", so then the issue could *technically* be resolved for then, and they could go to bed. He then gave intimacy advice (what are home teachers for, if not intimacy advice?) and closed his advice by saying he and his wife never, ever, ever argued, ever, because they love each other too much. Which kind of shot his no-going-to-bed-angry advice to heck, since apparently, he never had to use it.

  Did any of you guys get weird/annoying advice when you got married? If so, pray tell.


  1. ALL THE TIME. Amazingly enough it was from people married for a shorter amount of time than us. In our BYU ward we were the longest married people without kids, so that gave all the 6 month married, 6 months pregnant couples the opportunity to tell us how selfish we were to wait to have kids until I was done with school. Plus advice on "intimacy," date nights, fighting, etc.
    ps As for Aladdin all I can say is "Oh, My, Goodness." and checkout
    I saw it on Epbot and loved it. Not only is Jasmine NOT LDS, but her outfit is pretty historically accurate, so why should be held to a different religion/culture/times ideas of appropriateness? As for the effect on kids, I've never had my kids even mention her outfit. What's next? No Belle because her dress is off the shoulder? Argh, now McKay and I need to stay up all night until we have worked this out because I don't think we should go to bed angry either! :)

  2. Oh, I loved those historically accurate dresses, too! Such an amazing artist, I want to print some out and hang them up.

  3. Um, I love this. I love the line about advice being about their relationship and not applying to anyone else's and being weird. HILARIOUS. And yes, people LOVE to give advice. If they can feel qualified in any area, even if it is just because they have been married longer they will give it.
    Oh, and amen to Nicole's comment about advice on when to have kids. We waited 4 years after married and then 4 years again. YIPE! Talk about gossip city. . .I like to tell people we are done having kids just so I can over hear them make my reservation in hell. Speaking of kids, here is the bad news: just when they stop giving advice on marriage, they start giving it on child rearing.

  4. Oh and this is your cousin, Megan. I am signed into my preschool account apparently.

  5. Haha congrats!
    I've taken quite a few marriage classes here at BYU, and you are absolutely right, every couple has their own style. So advice is kind of silly to me, I guess I'd rather just figure it out on the way. The only advice that I really remember and that Rob and I still joke about today is the advice the little old temple worker told us before making our grand exit. He told Rob that there was only one way he should ever answer my requests, which was with a humble "Yes, my queen." Hahaha! So now whenever I'm being snappy, Rob just bows and says "Yes, my queen" in a little old man voice, and I bust up. :)