Sunday, September 25, 2011


   Yesterday McKay and I decided to try our hands at a day in Portland. We started out with a nice temple trip, and were going to try to decipher some vague directions a friend had given me to what she claimed was the mecca of thrift stores. Apparently, all the rich people donate there, so there's good stuff, and it's all rather cheap.

  The first thing I said upon arriving in the downtown Portland area? "Whoa whoa whoaaaa! What are you DOING?! Why??"
  McKay: What am I doing wrong? What are you yelling at me for??
  Me: Not you! The butt! I just saw a butt! What is wrong with this town?

  Yes. The first thing I saw in Portland was a human butt. An unclean human butt. I have no idea why this person was bending down with no pants or underwear on in an extremely busy intersection (they didn't seem to be purposefully mooning, just lounging about like that, really), but it was . . . surprising to say the least.

  We also finally got to see the famous Voodoo Doughnut shop, but the line was out the door and around the corner, so we opted out of that. Entertaining the line was a (bad) banjo player and a man doing what appeared to be an Irish jig.

  While wandering between 3rd and 5th street (which was where the mystical thrift store was supposed to exist), we also saw more hobos than I have ever seen in my life, including in LA. Though, honestly, some of them may not have been hobos, it was kind of hard to tell because most people dress like hobos in Portland. McKay and I actually got weird looks because we were still in our church dress and we stuck out like sore thumbs. I think I caught a man taking a picture of us with his phone. Or maybe that had more to do with me being pregnant, as apparently no one reproduces in Portland. They come up like spores out of the dirt, fully grown hipsters that immediately head to Voodoo Doughnut, otherwise known as "The Mother Ship".

  After fifteen minutes of wandering, we decided the magical thrift store did not exist and headed to our car.

  Thus concludes our day in Portland.

Don't worry. I don't think there would be any chance to change it, anyway.


  1. You are too young to know that a former mayor of Portland, Bud Clark, once was in a poster with the caption "Expose Yourself to Art". Portland is a unique place! Try heading to Powell's bookstore next time you venture there.

  2. I do not disagree that it is a unique place. But it is also an extremely strange place. People who grew up around here love it, but I think it's an acquired taste.

  3. Maybe you would like it better if they put a bird on it...

  4. Our 1st time at the beach in California, we were showering off the sand when a man, complete with very hairy chest, walked up in a woman's white sexy swimsuit. Just like your encounter with Mr. Loves-to-Share-His-Backside, it colored my perception of living here for a while.