It's Your (My) Funeral

  So, I kind of phased out during Relief Society on Sunday and started planning my funeral in my head. Here's what I have so far, it's a little rough, I just banged it out after church:

1.) DO NOT BURY ME IN SOME FANCY EXPENSIVE BOX. Cremate me. Do whatever you want with the ashes, just don't come visit my rotting corpse in an expensive plot. That's weird. Also, if there are billions of people on this earth, they can't all be buried! There's not enough room! You should do that thing where you turn me into a tree. That's cool. I saw this thing online where they talked about how if a bunch of people did that, then cemeteries would be forests. Seriously, isn't that a good idea? If you do that, though, don't freak out if the tree dies. It's not symbolic of anything, trees just die sometimes. Plant another one if you want and pretend it's the same one.

2.) NO VIEWING. I'm super serious on this, guys. I'm still traumatized from the one viewing I went to as a kid, and I don't want that to be the last way everyone remembers me, with my eyes all sunken in and crap. Why would you want to see that, anyway? I don't care if you find it comforting in some weird way, I am not cool with you all staring at my corpse. Remember me as I was ALIVE.

3. ) No hymns at the funeral. I don't feel as strongly about this as the first two, but really, I'm just not into hymns. If you play "Til We Meet Again" I'm going to be a mad ghost. You don't want a mad ghost, trust me. Don't torture yourselves with that hymn, please. Have James or Andrew make a compilation of instrumental songs from some of my favorite video games (I know you're rolling your eyes, Mom, but I don't care. There's some good music in video games!). Y'know, some Final Fantasy X or VII, Kingdom Hearts, Dragon Age. Not like the Chocobo Song or anything, the classy-sounding ones, guys. If James and Andrew are dead, then . . . Well, hopefully I'll update this before then.

4.) As for who gets what, Fay gets all my jewelry. She doesn't have to keep it if she doesn't want, no guilt, she can just choose her favorite pieces. Mom's going to give me the pink tourmaline ring Dad made when she dies, and that's actually a nice piece with some meaning, so Fay can have that. Lincoln . . . I dunno, I don't have any special trains stashed away. He can choose whatever he wants of mine. Kellie gets my beanie babies (or just one representational one if she wants. Or none. I don't care, I'm just trying to honor my promise to her from when I was 8). Everyone else can take what they want, give the rest to Goodwill. You don't need to hang on to my stuff or anything. What I hung on to due to sentimentality won't be sentimental to you, feel free to give it to Goodwill. OH, but keep the baby blessing dresses for the kids' kids someday. Don't throw those out, please.

5.) Burn my journals. Really, they're very boring, just a day-to-day account, they're not creative or funny or even that interesting, I promise. And a lot of people would be hurt because of stupid stuff I wrote when upset. I loved you all, I promise, I just vented a lot and you don't want to read it. If you can't bring yourself to burn them (though, really, you should), lock them away for my great-grandkids or something, people who didn't know me personally or would be offended by them. But, seriously, they're boring, I don't think even my descendents would want to read them.

6.) Something you COULD do at my funeral that I think would be fun would be to read excerpts from my blog, or facebook posts, or bits from my books or something. That's more personal to me than some talk we've all heard at every funeral ever about resurrection and stuff. You can throw it in at some point, like, "Hey, Julia believes in resurrection and so do 99% of people at this funeral, so that's cool, we'll see each other again someday, blah blah, now let's talk about something more interesting." OOH, also, if I'm not published, maybe print up some copies of the books I've worked really hard on so whoever wants to can read it. Not "Super", it sucks, but the Shadow book and How We Came to Quest are decent-ish. It would be nice if someone got to enjoy them. But, you know, remind people they are fantasy, so if they're not into that, don't read it just because they feel obligated.

7.) Sorry to keep harping about the funeral (wait, why am I apologizing? I should not have to keep apologizing beyond the grave!), but I want it small. Like, people who actually really knew me and loved me. Family and close friends. I don't want the big, impersonal kind with a bunch of people who barely knew me. Keep it intimate, the kind of thing I would like to go to in real life, with people I'm comfortable with. If there's someone that it would be awkward not to invite, I guess you can. But seriously, try to keep it small.

  That's what I got so far. Am I forgetting anything?

Georgia

   McKay applied for a job offhandedly months ago. Mostly for a lark. Sure, the work looked interesting, but we weren't really looking to move. And when they offered it to him back in November, he said the timing wasn't good. Right before the holidays and all that, not to mention a baby due in January. Plus we couldn't get out of our lease. No, not good timing at all. And, anyway, it was in GEORGIA. As in, the SOUTH. That wasn't happening.

  They called back about a week ago: How's the timing now? We still didn't take it seriously. No, we were definitely not moving to Georgia. But it was flattering to be asked. McKay didn't turn them down, but didn't give that much encouragement, either.

  Before the company even gave McKay a formal interview, they called his lab for references. Man, they were taking this way more seriously than we were. We were so NOT moving to Georgia.

  And then they asked him how much he wanted, salary-wise. McKay gave a ludicrous-sounding number. We weren't moving to Georgia. That would be silly.

  They accepted the offer December 29th. They had to know by the end of the 30th if we would take it or not so they could do paperwork for the new year. We've been struggling financially for months, sometimes barely scraping by in the black (very new for us).

  Maybe . . . Georgia wasn't SO bad? The cost of living is low. SO much lower than Virginia. We could actually save money! (a novel idea after this last year). We could probably afford to go to Disney World!

  I have to admit, Disney World factored into my decision more than it probably should.

  So that's how we accidentally got a job in Georgia. McKay starts March 1st.

  Since we accepted, I can't NOT pack; it's basically a compulsion. But a month and a half ahead of time, there's little I can pack that we don't use in our day-to-day lives. So I've limited myself to books for the time being. Luckily, that's plenty for me to focus on. So far I've packed six boxes of books, and have only finished up the first of our three bookcases. To be fair, they're small-ish boxes so we don't break our backs lifting them. McKay makes fun of me.

  My other favorite past time: Zillow. I check it multiple times a day for new listings, even though I know that 90% of the ones I have saved will be gone by the time we move. My heart breaks a little each time one goes. I don't know why I torture myself.

  Oh, and I'm due in a week. We've finally (mostly) decided on a name, but I'm afraid to say it out loud. If people tell me they hate it, I'll probably feel compelled to go back to the drawing board. I'm too tired for that. So many baby name lists.

  2016 looks like it should be interesting, to say the least.

  I felt like this post could use a picture. I had a nude-colored body suit on underneath the tulle, it wasn't as scandalous as it may appear. Thanks again for the photo shoot, Jen! And for reminding me to keep my chin jutted out!

What I've Learned About Anime

  I'm pretty open about being a nerd for the most part, but if there's one thing I keep hidden away in my closet of nerd shame, it's anime. I associate anime with the kids who wore black trench coats with way, way too many buckles in high school, even though it was the desert and over a hundred degrees. So I don't often talk about anime. I watched a few series with my brother when I was in high school, and that was about it. I never really sought it out again.

  The other thing you should know about me is that I don't like things. I'm obsessed with them. That is to say, a few weeks ago I decided to try another anime series on Netflix. And I finished it within two days. So I watched another. And another. And another. I think in the last few weeks I've watched about ten anime series. To be fair, most anime series only last one season, and many of those are only 13 episodes, so it's not like I've watched ten series of, like, Frasier length. But still. It's pretty bad.

  So, if you were ever curious, here's my list of things I've learned from exhaustive anime watching:

1. Anime is really, really weird and also really, really addictive. One of my favorite things about them is the character development. Seriously, how many shows in the US have character development, let alone the cartoons? It's pretty rare. Most shows here are about status quo--meaning by the end of the episode, nothing has changed since the beginning of it. People might go in and out of relationships, but the characters themselves are stagnant. In anime, these characters evolve, and you care about them. You root for them. And I'm always a sucker for good characters.

2. Watching romance in anime is INCREDIBLY FRUSTRATING. I mean, unless you're watching, like, porn anime. I don't do that. But in most anime I cannot tell for the LIFE of me if any of these characters like each other! Here's how the formula generally goes:

GIRL A: (says something that can be construed as flirtatious to BOY)

GIRL B: Whooooaaa, GIRL A, I didn't know you felt that way!

GIRL A: (blushes) NOOO, I didn't mean it like that!

  DID YOU MEAN IT LIKE THAT, GIRL A?! Because I'm sorry, I want to see some smooching. All these hit-and-misses are driving me crazy. And that's all most of them are. GAHHH.

3. The school-girl fascination is alive and well. Do all high school girls in Japan seriously wear those outfits? With the pleated mini skirt? And speaking of romance, WHAT IS UP WITH THE SUPER-OLD-YOUNG-LOOKING GUY AND HIGH SCHOOL GIRL TROPE?! It's like every romance is Twilight. Noragami (which translates to "Stray God") was a series I watched and greatly enjoyed. The ending even almost-sort-of-implied that the two leads liked each other! It was a definite maybe, anyway. I thought, "Aww, that's so sweet." and then I remembered, "WAIT, isn't she, like, fourteen? And he's a god that's at least a thousand years old?  . . . Well, that ruined it a bit." And that isn't uncommon, either. There are absolutely zero college aged girls in the world of anime. They're strictly seventeen and younger. Probably because most of these shows are aimed at high schoolers . . . Don't look at me that way! I can watch anime if I want to! (this is a slight exaggeration. I did watch one show that did not have a teenage girl lead)

4. All leading men look alike. Super-humanly skinny, pale skin, shaggy black hair, and usually wearing black. That's the formula. Seriously, here are the lead men from the anime shows I watched with two exceptions:

  And don't try to be all, "Well, most Japanese people have dark hair!" on me. The rest of the characters in these shows have every kind of color hair, including pink and green. Black hair is for leading men. If there are other black haired men on the show, the distinguish by giving them glasses. For serious.

5. Enemies becoming friends. This is another thing that isn't very common in American entertainment. Enemies are there to be vanquished, right? But in many of these shows (not all, but a pretty high average) the lead will learn that the Big Baddie they've been at war with since episode one is actually just lonely. So they make them their friend. Which is pretty dang awesome, actually. 

6. If you can't stand the voices, switch languages. Seriously. I had a boyfriend I used to watch "Naruto" with, but I spent most of the time making fun of it, primarily because Naruto's voice is THE WORST THING EVER in English. I've come across this many times. It's usually a female voice actor trying to do a young boy, and it sounds TERRIBLE. Not always. I mean, c'mon, Bart Simpson (not anime obviously, but there are some very, very talented women who voice boys). Anyway, if you find that you can't stand someone's voice, switch. And it goes both ways. There were many shows that I thought the voice acting was better in English (ugh, squeaky teenage girl voices). Ignore the purists that say it's always better in the original Japanese. They can suck it.

7. Yes, boob jokes are bread-and-butter. Not always, but very, very, very often. Strangely, the younger the intended audience is, the bigger the bust. Again, unless you're talking porn. I'm guessing there's big boobs there, too.

8. If you think you don't like anime, you're probably wrong. I feel this way about reading, too; if you think you don't like reading, it's because you haven't found the right book yet. There are a wide variety of anime shows. Even though I've watched a good number of them these last few weeks, I don't at all feel like I've been watching the same thing over and over (even if the leading men DO all look alike). Do you like sci-fi suspense, a la GATTACA or Minority Report? Give Psycho-Pass a try, it's got a very similar vibe. You an RPG junky like me? Sword Art Online, despite the stupid name, is a fantastic show, involving 10,000 people trapped in a virtual reality RPG. Win the game or die. Ghost stories your thing? Ghost Hunt will give you goosebumps. I have to recommend the Japanese, though, the leading man's voice in English drove me nuts in English. Do you like demon-fighting shows, like Buffy the Vampire Slayer? No end to anime shows there, but I recommend Soul Eater. Comedies more your thing? The Devil is a Part-Timer (again, stupid title) made me laugh out loud ("Don't you 'sheesh' me! Sheesh you, King Satan!"). If you have any nerdy tendencies at all, I promise you can find something you like.

9. Pretend there's a number nine here so this list can reach ten. It'll bug me otherwise.

10. Don't expect the endings to be tied up with a bow. Seriously. Like I said, most series are one season only, so you'll go, "Alright next epis--holy crap, that's the end?!". Did the characters end up together? Will so-and-so ever make peace with that one awful thing in their past? Were the overlords overthrown? WHO FRIGGIN' KNOWS. Well, manga readers, maybe. Many of them continue their story via manga, but if you're like me and broke with no manga selection at their library, then tough patooties. 

  I wrote this list mostly for myself, and I apologize if I made little sense. I'm sick, so you know, free pass on weird post. But are any of you closet anime watchers? Any recommendations for me? Because I'm running out of ones that look interesting to me on Netflix.

Gluten-Free and Judginess

  I recently read an article on signs you have a gluten intolerance. I basically had every single one, all of which could quite possibly be explained by some other cause, but I thought, eh. Might as well give this whole gluten-free thingymagigy a try, and see if it helps anything.

  I don't like telling people I'm trying to go gluten-free, though. Because they get really judgey. But not from the side I was expecting. See, THIS is what I was expecting:

ME: Yeah, I'm giving this "gluten-free" thingy a whirl to see if it helps my digestion system/terrible acne.

WHOEVER ELSE: UGHHH, WHY DOES EVERYONE SUDDENLY GIVE A CRAP ABOUT GLUTEN? YOU, MY FRIEND, ARE A HIPPY, AND SHOULD DROWN YOURSELF.

  This is the reaction I expected because it's more or less what I think when I hear anyone is doing anything weird, food-wise. Paleo, juicing, all that stuff, I basically get judgey and feel superior. And I'm sorry about that. I'm not a great person.

 But terrible people like me must be in the minority, or maybe we're just better at hiding our disdain than I thought, because they're not the judgey ones I've encountered. Since I live in Oregon, here's a basic compilation of the reactions I've had:

ME: Yeah, I'm trying to go gluten-free for a while.

WHOEVER ELSE: Oh, me, too! It's so much better for you. And they have some great foods out there! There's this one cereal, it's super healthy for you, called Tastes Like Tree Bark [not actual name], and it's not bad! [NOTE: 'not bad' is the phrase used to describe something inedible made slightly more edible. Have you ever heard someone describe tofu as 'good'? No, the best that can be said of tofu is 'not bad'. End of rant.]

ME: Yeah, also Frosted Flakes! You know, since it's corn-based and all.

   And then whoever I'm talking to looks at me like I said I stabbed a baby seal. With a steak. A non-organic steak.

  See, here's where the mix-up is: I didn't say I was dieting. I didn't say I was going sugar-free, or even trying to eat healthy. I said I'm trying to give up gluten for a while. Because it would be nice to live my life without feeling perpetually tired, or having brain fog, or maybe (FINGERS CROSSED!) get rid of the acne my mother assured me would disappear after the puberty thing ended (my mother is a liar, but I love her anyway).

   So let me eat my friggin' Frosted Flakes in peace. Because they're gluten-free, and I like them. And you know what? I do feel a bit better. Even hopped up on sugar. I made gluten-free chocolate chip cookies last week, and they were the best cookies I've ever made. And I ate almost every single one.

UNRELATED P.S. Reached 100 pages in my new book! Remember how I wrote that book last year? It was crap. And I hated it. I made the mistake of never, ever editing it as I wrote, which made it one big, hot mess when I went to read over the 340+ pages I slaved over. And I realized I just wasn't crazy enough over the story I'd written to work for another year tearing it apart. So I decided to chalk it up to a learning experience and write another book, which I edit every weekend. I think that, if I were to come across the book I'm writing now in a bookstore, it is the kind of book I'd like to read. Which makes me very, very happy.

It's Like Elementary School All Over Again

After 8 weeks of my bigoted teacher's rants against religion, I left class early today because I couldn't stop crying.

  Not because of his latest abuses against religion (apparently I must be "self-righteous" and "racist"). I can take that. Growing up Mormon, you learn to have a thick skin because you're an easy target. Even when he looked me straight in the eyes during one of these rants, knowing full well of my religious background, I didn't crack. Even when he interrupted my one attempt at defending myself and my religion, I just rolled my eyes and decided to let him have out.

  It was when a kid in the front row raised their hand and said, "I think you're being really offensive. I'm not even religious and I think you're being offensive" that my eyes started to water. People sticking up for me (or just showing kindness in general) has always been a soft spot for me. But naturally it was assumed I must be crying because of the religious rants (to the couple in the back who pointed me out and laughed--thanks. That was great.)

  Unfortunately, when I start to cry, I get extremely embarrassed. It's too vulnerable. Also, my whole face turns splotchy, and my nose/area around my mouth turn beet red, which is lovely. So I continued to cry due to mortification at my crying in public. It was okay when it was just a few tears. But then came the snot. I tried to make due at first, but it quickly became obvious I had two options: 1.) Leave class or 2.) Grab some kleenex and come back. Not wanting the class to think it was that easy to run me out (plus not wanting to miss vital notes for our final), I grabbed some toilet paper and headed back, thinking I had it under control, anyway.

  I didn't. After about a minute, the humiliation crept back in and the tears/snot started flowing again. A second return from the bathroom was more than I could handle. After using up the toilet paper I'd brought back, I decided to duck out early.

  Anyway, to the person in the front row: thank you. Also, I hate you, because you made me cry.

THE DOCTOR WHO 50TH SPECIAL, AGHHHHH!!!!

   Ahem. For those of you who know Doctor Who, you know that the special was back in November. I'm catching up still, leave me be! Anyhoo, I was crazy excited for the 50th. CRAZY EXCITED. I looked up news on it daily. Maybe hourly. I bought tickets to see it in theaters the first day they went on sale. I talked about theories involving Rose's reappearance with my mom on the phone for weeks. She humored me.

  So, November 23rd shows up, and I'm beyond excited. We get a babysitter, we drive close to an hour to get to a theater that was showing it, and McKay even dresses up in his Halloween costume from the year before, the 11th Doctor (which I did not get a picture of, sadly). We're running slightly late, which has me practically tearing out my hair because DOCTOR WHO. AND LATENESS. I REALLY HATE LATENESS. So I have McKay drop me off while he looks for a parking spot, I run up to the ticket booth, print out the tickets, and--

  The savvy among you will notice that the date on this ticket is for the 25th. I had somehow never paid attention to the fact that the special was showing on the 23rd for TV, and the 25th in theaters. What was that about, anyway? 

  I was crushed and hugely embarrassed, but McKay was very nice about it. I think he got a bit tired of me saying, "I am an idiot. I am such a ginormous idiot" after the 80th time, though. We ended up seeing Ender's Game instead, with McKay still in his 11th Doctor glory (we did get a couple of turned heads, thanks for asking).  I thought they did a fabulous job with Ender's Game, by the by. McKay was ambivalent. To be fair, though, he had re-read the book recently, which seems to be a huge factor on whether you enjoyed it or not. 

  ANYWAY, two days later, back we went on the hour-long drive to get to the theater to finally see THE DOCTOR WHO 50th ANNIVERSARY EPISODE! We didn't even watch it online during the two day wait (which was probably the hardest thing I've ever done, including labor) because we wanted our first experience seeing it to be on the big screen. 

  It was awesome, seeing a bunch of other people that love Doctor Who as much as us. Well, me. McKay likes it a normal amount. Like I've said, I like it a crazy amount. And the beginning video with Strax talking about movie etiquette (and eating screaming popcorn with great relish) alone made the price of admission worth it. But the 3D was pretty freaking rad, too. 

  I managed to snap this photo on the way out (I know none of these people, but I admire them all greatly). I love Doctor Who nerds. We're the best. AND HOW INSANELY ACCURATE ARE THOSE DOLLS?! Best ever.

  Thank you, McKay, for going along with my obsessions! And thank you, Doctor Who, for being awesome.

Birthday List

  Hey, my birthday is in a week and a half! It's a bit shocking to me, actually. I've forgotten to count down from, like, a month ahead, which is my usual gig. Is this what being an adult does to you? Lame. Anyway, I know I'm turning 23 and nobody likes you when you're 23, but in case you readers wanted to get me a little somethin' somethin', here's my birthday list this year! (Note: I don't really expect you to get me anything. I was always one of those little girls who had a grand old time circling the items I wanted in the toy magazines, and I've never quite grown out of that.)

1. Nerdy clothes and gear

"Calvinball" is sold here at REDBUBBLE.

  Really, I have a shocking lack of Doctor Who merchandise that I've been meaning to remedy.

Time Machines shirt from BustedTees, which you can buy here

"Part of Every World" at REDBUBBLE, buy it here. Or you could get it as an iphone case. I have the iphone 5 model . . . . just sayin'.

  Some shirts I love, but the design seems to have the male body in mind rather than the female. So, for those of you who love me a $2.50 amount, I also love stickers! (no judgment there. I'd probably love me a $2.50 dollar amount, too.)

This adorableness is sold here at REDBUBBLE.

2. Books. I frequent the library semi-regularly, and these are the ones that I love enough to add to my growing collection (I re-read a lot).

-The Hollow Kingdom Trilogy by Clare B. Dunkle. The covers look really stupid, but they're so good. Like Twilight, but with goblins and elves instead of vampires. And better written. (Sorry, Stephanie Meyer.) I think I've mentioned this before, sorry for the repeat.
-Edenbrooke by Julianne Donaldson. It's one of those fluffy, happy Victorian-era books that makes you squeal with delight as you read. Literally, if you're me. She's got a new book out, Blackmoore, that I would be happy to receive as well, if you're so inclined.
-Midnight in Austenland by Shannon Hale. It's the sequel to Austenland, and I'm dying to re-read it, especially after recently watching the movie of the first book.

3. Jewelry.

I really want an anatomically correct heart necklace. I'm not sure why. I just think they're awesome.

Sold on Etsy by billyblue22. Find it here.

  This one is awesome, because it's HARRY POTTER and steampunk. Love.

Buy this awesomeness on Etsy from ifcool here.

Get this piece of rad on Etsy, sold by pier7craft here.

  Also, I'm craving an ear cuff. I've been wanting one since this dinner we had for the cast and crew of 39 Steps, and one of the guy's girlfriend had one. I think I creeped her out because the whole dinner I kept staring at her ear and thinking how awesome it was. I love earrings, but my ears are so sensitive I can't wear them for long periods of time. These babies wouldn't give me the same problem, since they require no piercing!

Just somethin' simple. I don't need no elaborate dragons on my ears. This one hardly costs more than the sticker, too. Buy it on Etsy from MySisterShop here. 

Slightly fancier one. Also on Etsy, this one from ravenevejewelry. Buy it here. 

 I'm also slightly obsessed with cameos right now. I like the traditional ones, but isn't this thing freaking adorable?

On Etsy from OneFortyFive, buy it here.

   What's on your wish list right now?

Not a Real Post

  Hey guys.

  Sorry for the lack of posting lately. I'm kind of in a blogging depression right now. You know how sometimes missionaries ask people if they ask themselves who they are, why they're here, where they're going, etc etc? It's kind of that, but it's more like, "Why am I blogging? Does anyone really give a crap? I've been doing this for three years, and still have next to no readers." Not that it should matter. About readers, that is. I mostly blog because I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.

  But sadly, it does kind of matter. To me, anyway. Stupidly.

  Anyway, that's why I'm slacking. Also, I feel like I need to do some vacation posts, and it takes so long to upload pictures, then edit them and blah blah blah.

  BUT I haven't been off the writing bandwagon. I've actually written over FORTY PAGES of my book in the last week. I know, whaaaaa? Who is this motivated person, and what have they done with Julia? Strangely, the game Candy Crush is a great motivational tool. When I run out of lives, I write for the half hour it takes to get another life. When I crash and burn on that life, I write another half hour.

  BRAGGING TIME: I wrote nine pages this morning during Lincoln's nap. Then we walked almost four miles to the landlord's office to pay rent (and it's friggin' hot here [humidity is the worst]). Then I went to buy an air conditioner and carried it in the house all by myself.

  I'm pretty much Wonder Woman today.

  What about you guys? What've you been up to the last three weeks?

Day 21: If I Could Have One Superpower . . .

  I think I'd like to be able to breath under water. Which is kind of boring, but I love swimming, and most superpowers I think would kind of bite you in the butt (the book I'm writing is about superheroes, so I spend a good deal of time thinking about this). I would HATE to be able to read minds or be invisible, because I think you'd hear a lot of things you wish you hadn't.

  So I'd stick to breathing under water and go to Hawaii and swim with all the pretty fishies without accidentally swallowing salt water in my snorkel. Maybe not the handiest superpower in the world, but one that wouldn't get in the way of everyday life. It'd just help me do something I already enjoy.

  What would you want as your superpower?

Day 19: If I Could Live Anywhere, Where Would it Be and Why

  Disneyland.

  Hey, you said ANYWHERE.

  I'd want to live in one of those cute little apartments above Main Street, USA. Ooh, or one of the ones in New Orleans Square!

  Think about it: Someone else cooks all your meals. When you spill, Sweepers come by and and it's cleaned up. Also, no dishes for you to scrub!

  And, lots of exercise. I'm pretty sure every time I go to Disneyland I walk 10-20 miles.

  Obviously, RIDES.

  Live music everywhere, bubbles floating everywhere from happy children with too-expensive bubble guns, and all of the themed EVERYTHING in every land that's kept up so well.

  Disneyland is also the only place with crowds I find relaxing.

  Man, I went a month ago and I'm already fighting the craving. I've got it bad.
 
  Where would you live?

Day 17: One Thing I Wish I Was Great At

Trying new things.

I hate it.

I'm one of those people who orders the same thing every time I go to a restaurant.

I like vacationing at the same places (like Waterton and Disneyland).

At a place I love with people I love. Perfect.

I like hanging out with the same people that I enjoy.

I have no desire to skydive.

I don't like getting lost in cities I've never been to.

I don't like meeting new people.

I wish I did. I honestly do. Especially being married to McKay, who thrives on doing new things. He's always up for an adventure. But the problem is, the first time I do something, I'm so freaked out inside that I rarely enjoy it. Reminiscing about it later is far more fun for me than actually experiencing it. If I do an activity/go somewhere/do whatever it is enough, then it becomes familiar and I know what I'm doing and I can relax and enjoy it. But it takes a while. And McKay usually doesn't want to do whatever new activity we're doing even a SECOND time, let alone enough times for me to be comfortable with it. So when we're doing an activity, generally he's either slightly bored or I'm uncomfortable.

  So I wish I were good at trying new things.

  And please don't give me the "if you do new things often enough, you'll learn to enjoy it!" speech.
 It's not true.

  You can't make me you with enough practice. It's just my genetic make up. So I say this with love, but--
back off, extroverts.

  I'll still try new things.

  I just wish I liked it.


 
What do you wish you were good at?

Day 12: A Typical Day in the Life of Julia

 This is my last week or so.

7:30 AM: Wake up from McKay throwing Lincoln on top of me before he rushes out to the bus.

7:31-8:30 AM: Try to wake up properly, get dressed, feed Lincoln crackers and Cutie oranges, breakfast of champions. I eat leftover Easter candy, even though I promised myself I wouldn't eat any until noon.

8:30 AM: Lincoln (hopefully) goes down for a nap. I put on make-up, eat real breakfast, then play video games and/or watch "Veronica Mars", which I recently became addicted to. I'm in the third season.I might prod myself into blogging.

10:30 AM: Lincoln wakes up. I feed him some more, do dishes, clean up, play with Lincoln, etc. I also do errands around this time.

1:00 PM: Bored. Go on walk and talk to Mom (or friends occasionally) on phone for about an hour.

3:00 PM: Lincoln has second nap if I'm lucky. More video games/"Veronica Mars".

4:00 PM: If I'm feeling productive, start getting dinner together while feeding Lincoln more finger foods. At this point of the day, I'm wearing down the clock.

6:00 PM: Lincoln goes to bed. I waste time.

7:00 PM: McKay comes home from work. We eat dinner if I was feeling motivated enough to cook. If I'm in a good mood, he nags me into playing a board game or something. If it was a bad day, he lets me veg until bed.

9:30 PM: Reading, then bedtime.


   I'm a boring person, sorry. Some days I'm more interesting, but my excuse is that coming home from vacation is hard, and I'm just trying to survive Lincoln's never-ending teething; I tried counting his teeth today (I know he has at least 10, but I think it may be in the 12-14 range), and he bit me. That really hurt, Charlie.

 

Spring in Oregon

  Plus, bonus picture of Lincoln!

  He thinks crawling around under the table and through the chairs is a cool obstacle course. But he tends to get stuck on this one. So I did what any good mother would do and grabbed my camera.

We Are One [Insert Lion King 2 Song]

  Being a child is kind of what I imagine being high is like. Your thoughts make no kind of sense, but they seem very important and dramatic anyway.

  I remember when I was probably four years old, I thought that I was everyone. Or everyone was me. Like, when anyone else in the world would talk, my consciousness would rush into them and they would forget that they were me. Then their consciousness would rush back into me when it was my turn to talk. So we were all one big person, in a way, we just didn't realize it. Reading "Grendel" in high school really freaked me out because I realized I had the same reasoning as a child as a fictional monster. Then I realized that this meant that it was actually maybe possibly semi-normal to have thoughts like that, since the author obviously must have thought of it, too. Right? Right??

  Anyway, this idea of everyone being one person soon turned troubling to me. I remember pondering the implications of it in the bathtub (as one does at four years old) and realizing that this meant I was probably a bank robber sometimes. Which was the worstest thing I could think of being at the time.

  So I did what any four year old who realized they may have forgotten that they are a bank robber when their consciousness isn't in them would do. I prayed and begged Heavenly Father to please, please, please forgive me if I had ever robbed any banks.

  Kids, amIright?

  Any of you guys have strange philosophical ideas as a child?

My Only Sunshine

  Today I contentedly watched Lincoln play with a sunbeam on the floor. I wondered for a minute why it was so entertaining to him and a shocking question made me pause--has Lincoln ever seen a sunbeam on the carpet before? Probably not any time he would remember. There are so few sunny days here, and I usually keep the curtains closed because my neighbor has a penchant for topless sunbathing.

  What else has my child been deprived of?

  
    P.S. If you were wondering, the song playing in the background is "Your Ex-Lover is Dead" by Stars. Lovely song. This was the second video I took of Lincoln because I realized halfway through the first that I was absentmindedly singing along. I ruined all my videos from a Rooney concert I went to that way. Stupid me.

   P.P.S. Isn't my baby friggin' adorable? I'll admit, I got a bit of a tear in my eye while this was going on this morning. It was one of those moments where everything feels like it's exactly as it should be.

Nothing Big's Going On, So Here's All the Little Things

  I'm watching Cheers on Netflix. It shocks me to my core that Kelsey Grammar was actually once attractive.

  I had a nightmare the other night. It involved vampires working in a Jamba Juice. If they wanted to suck someone's blood, there was a particular ritual they would do involving a strawberry smoothie. I trapped the worst of them in a magic paper coffin.

  I'm back to writing my book. I'm thinking I might put an excerpt on here soon. Please be kind if I do.

  Any good book recommendations? I'm feeling ghost stories right now. Like, the kind that's scary enough to give you goose bumps, but not so scary you look under your bed for weeks.

The Skinny on my Characters in "The 39 Steps"

  Ah, Miss Anabella Schmidt. I had an extremely difficult time with her. Ditzy, angry, down-trodden, embarrassed, goofy--I can do that. Confident and sexy? I'm trembling in my boots. It got to the point where I dreaded rehearsals when I knew I would be playing her. In the end, though, I think she got the most laughs of my three characters. And due to the blinds splitting, falling off, and rising sporadically, I also got to exercise my improvisational skills. Besides, who doesn't love a ridiculous death scene?

 Memorable Anabella moments:

• It feels like an age since rehearsals first commenced, so I honestly can't remember if someone told me to make the "Alt-na-shell-ach" so long and guttural. But I like to think I thought it up, especially as it became a running gag.
• I can't think of anything I'm more proud of in this show than the fact that I did not laugh when the blind fell down. I helped Michael put it back up in character, and fooled my own mother into thinking it was part of the show. Woot woot!

  

  Margaret was my fastest change, and thanks are due to Shirley and Kellie for making sure I was always ready by the time Chuck yelled my name. 

  Memorable moment as Margaret:

• Really, the only thing that comes to mind as Margaret is looking at Michael over the table and always noticing a trail of sweat making its way down his face (which he had JUST WIPED backstage. Seriously, anytime Michael was not onstage, he was wiping extremely large amounts of sweat off his face). Anyway, I'd look at Michael and brace myself for when I had to kiss him. Poor Michael, he never once complained about the fact that my nose seemed to be perpetually runny. But apparently I'm the kiss-and-tell type. I am no gentleman.

  The second act felt quite relaxing in comparison to the first. Just one character, and no costume changes (besides a robe I put over my dress for the last scene). From the first reading of 39 Steps (which was a month or so before the audition), I wanted to play Pamela. The other characters, fine, whatever, but Pamela was the real meat for me. The proper British accent (RP) has never been an issue for me, and Pamela got to have some excellent screaming matches. Such a treat for me!

Memorable Pamela moments:

• I always hated the stocking scene, where Michael trails his hands down my legs since we're handcuffed together. I think Johanna, our director, could tell I was very much out of my comfort zone, because the first time we worked on that scene she made us do it about a dozen times. Probably so I'd stop grimacing so much. But even by the last show, my inclination was always to slap Michael's hand away. Not sure why it bothered me so much more than the kissing.
•  My wrist was bruised for probably two months solid from the handcuffs. Which was completely my fault, because I would always jerk my hand around. Michael was too soft with me, I kept forgetting when I had to yell, "Ow!" because he would barely twitch my hand. Pansy.
• Our car scene was probably one of the most difficult things for us to get down. Turning in unison, let alone turning to the correct side (we forgot for a while that we had to lean the OPPOSITE way that Chuck would turn the wheel), plus timing the bump in the road made for a few hilariously terrible rehearsals.

The blind that had a mind of its own.

"This renders the engine . . . completely silent." It's weird/funny knowing EXACTLY which line was just said by our expressions.

The car scene that gave us so much trouble.

The whole cast, including our wonderful understudies/extras!

  I almost want to do a third post, just thanking all the incredibly talented and kind group that were backstage. Heck, they each could have their own post. Jade, who always made sure my props were in place and was a most excellent sign-holder. James, thanks for all the dance parties while I was waiting to go onstage. Kellie, who made my hair look fabulous every night. Kayla, who made my face up like a movie star. Eric, who built such an incredible set. Johanna, for having such an amazing vision and for giving me such an incredible opportunity. GAH, you guys were all awesome, I could ramble on and on about it forever! Know that even if I didn't mention you by name, though, I really appreciate everything you did. Every person added their own bit of awesome, and the show would have suffered if even one of the people involved had not been there.

  It was incredible. Thank you one and all.

Cast of 39 Steps

  "The 39 Steps" is over. I'm feeling rather bipolar about that at the moment. What I can say is that I think we did a fantastic job every night, and that I feel extremely lucky to have worked with such an amazing group of people. In fact, let me count the ways. . .

Nancy (who played one of the Clowns) is a creative, jolly person to work with. Always positive, always willing to try new ways of doing things, she's a wonderful actress.I don't know many women that could pull off the dozen or so men's roles she played, but she did it with finesse.

  Chuck (also a Clown) is the biggest ham I've ever met. He steals every scene, but you really can't get upset about it, because he's making you laugh, too. His expressions are masterpieces, each and every one. Plus, Chuck makes everyone around him feel warm and fuzzy, you can't but help love him.

  Michael (who played Richard Hannay) is one of the most brilliant actors I've ever had the pleasure to work with. He could put anyone to shame in any role. Including mine. Great, now I'm envisioning what he could have done as Anabella, and I'm already embarrassed at how much better he is at it than me. *sigh* Anyway, not only is he a fantastic actor, he's also a generous one. He's more than willing to set up his fellow actors for jokes, and he somehow makes everyone around him better. Like some weird acting wizard.

  This is getting pretty long, so I think I'll break this up into multiple parts. It's hard to cram the people and events of your last three months into one post . . .

  Great, now I'm sad again.