Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Tribute to Mediocrity

I love crappy movies. I think this has been ingrained since I was a wee one; some of my earliest memories are of going to Blockbuster. I generally stuck to three movie choices: UHF, Santa Claus is Coming to Town (the stop-motion one), and Clue. In my opinion, Clue does not qualify for a crappy movie, and UHF is SUPPOSED to be crappy. I do not know what appeal Santa Claus is Coming to Town held, but it obviously programmed me to be accepting of all movie types.
Over the summer, me and some friends started Crappy Movie Tuesday. It was fantastic. We took turns every week picking the crappy movie, and they were always wonderfully awful. My personal favorites were Killer Klowns From Outer Space, Barbie and the Diamond Castle, and Troll 2. There's something so delicious about watching a movie that is so bad it's good. I'm currently watching Cry Baby, which I guess is more like UHF in that it's trying to be bad, but it's so weird to me I'm drawn to it. My description of it to my bestie, Cara, was that it's like Greece on steroids. I don't think there's any other way to describe it.

Here's some highlights of Troll 2:
-When Joshua realizes that "Nilbog" (the name of the town they're staying in) is GOBLIN spelled BACKWARDS!! Dun dun dunnn! (There are no trolls in Troll 2. Only goblins.)
-When Joshua decides the only way to save his family from eating the goblin food that will turn them into goblin food (half-human, half-plant), is to pee all over it. His father's response: "You can't pee on hospitality!"
-A young teenager falls into the clutches of the goblin queen (who is human for some reason), and is slowly turning into a tree. His monotone response when he watches the goblins eat his very scantily-clad woman-friend he ran into in the forest: "They're eating her. Then they're gonnna eat me."

I don't think mediocrity is celebrated enough. Odds are you're not going to be one of the best of the best in anything. But if you don't try with all your might, you may one day have a treasure to share with all the world. Like I Accuse My Parents. Or Eegah. Scratch that, Eegah is terrible, even in the land of terrible movies.


  1. Killer Klowns from Outer Space is a Christmas classic at our house. Also, you're right, Clue is not a bad movie. I love you. That is all.

  2. Oh man, I totally agree about Eegah. Absolutely awful. I Accuse My Parents was awesome, too. I'm thinking about bringing Santa Claus for christmas, but I don't know if we'll have time for a full MST3K.

    Love your writing!