Georgia

   McKay applied for a job offhandedly months ago. Mostly for a lark. Sure, the work looked interesting, but we weren't really looking to move. And when they offered it to him back in November, he said the timing wasn't good. Right before the holidays and all that, not to mention a baby due in January. Plus we couldn't get out of our lease. No, not good timing at all. And, anyway, it was in GEORGIA. As in, the SOUTH. That wasn't happening.

  They called back about a week ago: How's the timing now? We still didn't take it seriously. No, we were definitely not moving to Georgia. But it was flattering to be asked. McKay didn't turn them down, but didn't give that much encouragement, either.

  Before the company even gave McKay a formal interview, they called his lab for references. Man, they were taking this way more seriously than we were. We were so NOT moving to Georgia.

  And then they asked him how much he wanted, salary-wise. McKay gave a ludicrous-sounding number. We weren't moving to Georgia. That would be silly.

  They accepted the offer December 29th. They had to know by the end of the 30th if we would take it or not so they could do paperwork for the new year. We've been struggling financially for months, sometimes barely scraping by in the black (very new for us).

  Maybe . . . Georgia wasn't SO bad? The cost of living is low. SO much lower than Virginia. We could actually save money! (a novel idea after this last year). We could probably afford to go to Disney World!

  I have to admit, Disney World factored into my decision more than it probably should.

  So that's how we accidentally got a job in Georgia. McKay starts March 1st.

  Since we accepted, I can't NOT pack; it's basically a compulsion. But a month and a half ahead of time, there's little I can pack that we don't use in our day-to-day lives. So I've limited myself to books for the time being. Luckily, that's plenty for me to focus on. So far I've packed six boxes of books, and have only finished up the first of our three bookcases. To be fair, they're small-ish boxes so we don't break our backs lifting them. McKay makes fun of me.

  My other favorite past time: Zillow. I check it multiple times a day for new listings, even though I know that 90% of the ones I have saved will be gone by the time we move. My heart breaks a little each time one goes. I don't know why I torture myself.

  Oh, and I'm due in a week. We've finally (mostly) decided on a name, but I'm afraid to say it out loud. If people tell me they hate it, I'll probably feel compelled to go back to the drawing board. I'm too tired for that. So many baby name lists.

  2016 looks like it should be interesting, to say the least.

  I felt like this post could use a picture. I had a nude-colored body suit on underneath the tulle, it wasn't as scandalous as it may appear. Thanks again for the photo shoot, Jen! And for reminding me to keep my chin jutted out!

All Hail Me, Winner of Failing at Life!

  So, first The Bloggess wrote THIS amazing post about failing at being human, which made me laugh-cry (I had to read it in doses because it hurt my throat and stomach too much to laugh so much in one sitting). Then my BFF Kellie did THIS, and it was fantastic. And basically it's just bringing back too many painful, horrible, hilarious memories that I have to share. I think many of them have probably been posted on here years ago, but meh.

 These kinds of things seem to happen to me daily, which is probably why I don't talk to people much anymore. I really shouldn't be allowed to, anyway.

1. At EFY, Cute British Boy sat next to me at a John Bytheway talk. He introduced himself to me and I blanked, thinking, "My brother James would know JUST what to say to make this guy his best friend!" Held out my hand, said, "Hi, I'm James! . . . I MEAN JULIA." He later tried to whisper something to me three times, but it turns out I can't understand whispered British accents, so I gave up trying to understand and fake-laughed, assuming he was telling me a joke. "It wasn't funny," he said.

2. Used to exchange babysitting for use of washer/dryer in Oregon, so I lugged two heavy bags of laundry into my friend's house and chatted with her for about ten minutes before she finally said, "Um, it's Thursday." It took her several more hints before I realized I'd come on the wrong day.

3. Had a crush on 18 year old boy at church when I was fourteen. After sacrament meeting I was walking to class with BFF and swooning (loudly) over how much I loved him. "Haha, what if he was behind me?" I said. BFF turned around, "Um, he is." "Yeah, right, not gonna fall for that." He was.

4. Asked a man at Foot Locker if he could get me my size. He said something, but I couldn't hear well, so I laughed, assuming he told me a joke (I do this a lot, apparently) while handing him the shoe. He repeated, louder, "I don't work here."

5. At drama club, loudly complained about my assigned dance partner for musical number. Friends pointed out his father, standing feet away from us. "Dorian [name changed] isn't SO bad," I tried to course correct. "Julia, just stop," they begged. I did. Finally.

6. Went out with a group of friends to eat at Chipotle. One friend got a phone call and turned his head slightly for "privacy". I thought this was hilarious and mimicked him, slamming my head into the booth.

7. My very first trip to an OB was when I was pregnant with Lincoln. The nurse told me to take everything off and left a sheet on the table. Did not tell me robe was beneath sheet, nor that I could put it on. I hate being naked, but tried to seem nonchalant as OB walked in on me, casually standing there naked. She told me I could put on the robe. After giving me once-over.

8. Got a phone call from an insurance company with a very automated-sounding female on the other line. Halfway through something she was saying I blurted out, "Are you a robot?" I fully expected her to say, "I'm sorry, I don't understand," like most automated services do when you say something weird. Instead the woman said, "No, I'm a human being. Do I sound that bad?" I apologized, but her voice still sounded super robotic, so I laughed every time she spoke. Couldn't find a way to hang up for another five minutes.

9.  Called my male, ex-military fourth grade teacher "mom". I don't know which of us was more embarrassed.

10.  On a date at the movies. Used the cover of darkness to pick a scab off my arm. Accidentally flicked it onto date's leg (who was wearing shorts). Kept eyes glued to the screen as he brushed it off while glaring at me.

11. While we were dating, McKay took me to a fancy dinner at his professor's house, where I promptly dropped a plate of red sauced pasta on their pristine white carpet. Also, on one of our first dates he took me to a friend's house. After them joking about trusting me to not spill soup on their couch, I did just that.


  This is seriously just the tip of the iceburg. More like a speck on the iceburg. I've done so many humiliating things that I've managed to even forget some of them. What are your best worst memories?

[Also, hi. I know it's been forever. And I'm pregnant and living across the country since my last post. Maybe we'll cover that stuff later. Maybe not.]

How to Survive Moving

  I had a request to write about moving, but you know what? Moving is boring. It's boring to write about, boring to read about, and boring to do.  If you aren't in the know, we're moving to Virginia. McKay got a job there. Something to do with chemistry, researching something or another. Unless he's analyzing something or another. I don't know. I try to listen when he talks about it, but it's, you know, chemistry-related.

  Anyway, the only way I can think of to spice up a moving post (and give me the will to finish it) is to make it into a list. I love lists.

  "After all this time?"

  "Always."

  My patronus would probably be a list. Also, it bugs me when people go on about how amazing Snape is because he was in love with Lilly. That doesn't change the fact that he was a huge jerkwad through the whole series, and blah blah blah rant rant. Anyway. How to survive moving: Geared for me and people like me.

1. Make a thousand lists. I know, I know. But seriously, there are a thousand things you're going to need to do and remember. Also, if you're like me, making a list has a soothing effect. I find I don't have to worry so much about something as long as it's written down for me to do.

2. Start as soon as you can, because packing takes FOREVER. At least, it takes ME forever because I spend a lot of time wandering around the house trying to find things that will fit into the current box I'm using that I won't need in the next two weeks. It's like the most painful game of Tetris ever. It can take me over an hour for one box.

3. In my opinion, if you have a box that's JUST towels, blankets, etc, you're doing it wrong. Especially if you're wasting time collecting newspapers or buying bubble wrap. I wrap up all the breakables (frames, glass dishes, etc) in all the linen I'm planning to take. The downside of this is that I'm sure I'll hate myself when I'm in the midst of unpacking and need to figure out where my towels are so I can shower.

4.  If you're going to have to change insurances (like us), do yourself a favor and make a thousand doctor appointments right away. Like, as soon as you know you're moving. For us, McKay's work isn't going to provide any kind of insurance, so we wanted to make sure we got all our check-ups and such out of the way in case the plan we buy sucks. I made appointments mid-January, thinking that would give us plenty of time. Instead I got to talk to snippy receptionists whining about fitting me in "last second" (we're moving in March).

5. Do lots of research on different ways to move. This took me DAYS. McKay's work is comping us a grand in moving costs, but you'll quickly realize that a grand to move across the country is peanuts. Renting a U-haul truck (even one of the smaller ones) can easily cost $2500 or more (plus they'll charge by the mile after the first 500 or something like that), and shipping options like PODS cost twice that much for even the smallest options. Most moving companies refuse to give you a quote online unless you give them your number and email. DON'T DO IT. I gave in to ONE website and got at least a dozen phone calls and emails from different moving companies.

  Also, because we're moving so far away, we had to think about our cars as well. We wanted to drive together for trade-off purposes, so we had to make a fairly easy Sophie's Choice when it came to our cars. Anyway, we finally realized that the only way to stay on budget was to get a hitch attached to my car, rent a small Uhaul trailer, and sell everything that didn't fit. Cost of hitch: $288. Cost of trailer for 10 days: about $150. Much, much cheaper than any other option I've found, even including gas. This works well for people like us, whose furniture largely consists of garage sale finds, anyway. It's more cost effective to buy more garage sale furniture/make a whirlwind trip to IKEA when we get to Virginia than it would be to move it. Our stuff just isn't worth it.

6.  Try to appreciate the things that are important to your spouse, and don't give them too much grief for the stupid things they just can't part with. For McKay, this is his sword collection. For me, it's my books. It took four large (very heavy) boxes to pack them all up. The good thing about books, though, is that you can mail them through USPS by "media post", which is much, much cheaper than normal post. Just make sure the boxes weigh less than 70 pounds. One of my boxes was 62 pounds and cost about $25 to ship. The man at the counter told me that ordinarily that would cost $80. And considering our towing limit is 600 pounds after you subtract the weight of the trailer, 200 pounds of books is not so good. Seriously, media mail. Do it.

7.  That said, sell everything you CAN part with. A good rule of thumb I've heard is to sell everything you'd likely be replacing in the next five years, anyway. Some things will be harder than others to let go of, even if you're not sure why. Like my rice maker. I love my rice maker, and even though I plan on buying a new one of the exact same kind when I get to Virginia (it's only $20), it feels like a betrayal to it to get rid of it. It's served me so loyally all these years! (I think I may have a little bit of a hoarder mentality). That being said, getting rid of things is also a bit cathartic. It also can line your pockets for the things you'll need to replace. We made over $300 at our first garage sale, and we're having another one this Saturday. You WILL feel a little self conscious paying for things with a huge stack of singles, though. Anyway, possessions to bring with you should include those that will be too expensive to replace or that have too much sentimental value to part with.

8. Trade in things you're not crazy about for things you are. Albany has LOTS of second hand stores that give you store credit for things you bring in, so I've been able to lighten my load of books, video games, and clothes that I don't care much for for a few things I love. You'll come out with less than you started with, which means less packing, and you'll get to satisfy minor shopping cravings for free-ish.

8.  Make it as fun as possible. Listen to your favorite music and sing along loudly while you pack. Do a box or two a day so you're not overwhelmed. Re-watch your favorite TV show while you sort through your drawers. If you're like me, obsessively look at houses on Zillow and ooh and aah over the places you pray don't get snatched up before you move. Treat yo'self.


 I'm forgetting a million things. I should start another list, Things to Write About in Regards to Moving.

Enchanted Forest . . . Disneyland's Slightly Twisted Cousin

  A few weeks ago, my friend Shanti and I took our toddlers to the (in)famous Enchanted Forest. You may not have seen, the local gem that is Enchanted Forest recently made the prestigious list of "World's Creepiest Parks for Kids" (seen here). Note that it didn't say "in Oregon" or even "in America". This park made this list out of all the parks IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. And, boy, did it live up to the reputation! Within the first hour, I can't even count the number of times Shanti and I turned to one another to say, "I can't believe how creepy this is. I'm seriously a little frightened." And luckily for you, I took lots of photo and video to document it!

   A few weeks before we visited, this Humpty literally had a great fall. Hence the ladder and missing bricks.

   The witch animatronic inside here made me scream aloud. Her chin was bigger than my head. I tried to get a video, but it was so dark you couldn't see a thing on camera. I think they do that on purpose.

   Mary and her sheep-dog thing.

This looks way worse in person. Trust me. 

   This was kind of cool, in an I-don't-want-to-do-it way. You could crawl through this long, pitch dark tunnel that went under the walkway for about fifteen yards. Lincoln pronounced it "dark" and "scary", and would not enter. Couldn't blame him. Those words were repeated often that day. You can hear it in this video:

  This was for the seven dwarves, if I remember correctly. There was a whole tight tunnel (but adult-sized this time. But forget about it if you're obese, those things were really, really narrow) that showed said dwarves mining, surrounded by green glowing waterfalls that did not photograph well. It was very eerie.

Jack and Jill did not look like they were "tumbling" down the mountain. Unless "tumbling" is another word for "being chased by monster demons".

   Lincoln was very curious to see what might be up there. By the way, this led to a slide. Don't you love the fangs? Nice touch.

   I like how the Crooked Man looks like a peeping Tom for his own home. 

   I took one step inside and felt like I was going to puke. I'm getting old. Lincoln and Magnus kept falling down. Shanti noped out, but I went through the "dark", "scary" house with the kids. And got to see this face:

   This picture looks more blurry than it is. Know why? BECAUSE THIS WAS PAINTED WITH FOUR EYES. I don't know why, guys. I don't have any answers. I'm only here to document.

Honestly, I've never heard of The Crooked Man, so I don't blame you if you haven't either. But everyone knows the Three Bears of Startling Flexibility!

   This one Shanti and I were like, "Hey, this one isn't so bad! Nothing too freaky about it." Until you get to the other side, and . . . 

   MOLDY WOLF THING.

   This park didn't make you sign a waver (or maybe it did, I can't remember), but every attraction had signs like this one. 

  After the fairytale/nursery rhyme walk-through section there were the shops and rides. We braved this bobsled ride, which included exactly zero seatbelts. I screamed for a lot of it, but it was good fun, I must admit. It reminded me of the amusement park McKay and I went to in China, where you were seriously afraid for your life the whole time. Added adrenaline!

   This is Shanti, and you can just make out Magnus' head, in the bobsled behind us, going up, up, up!

  The shops are interspersed with more fairytale animatronics, these ones in better lighting so I could share them with you lucky folks! It really doesn't do it justice, though, which is too bad. The blue fairy from Pinocchio looked like she had hung herself after chopping off her feet:

  Really, though, as scary as Enchanted Forest is (Shanti and I were both too chicken to check out the haunted house because, really, I hate to see what they come up with when they're TRYING to be scary), one thing you can say for them is there is a lot to do. A restaurant we took a break in had a fun water show every seven minutes, though even that was terrifying from time to time when the music became more intense and the lights all turned red.

While we were looking through the shops, Shanti told me, "Julia. Turn around." Again, I literally screamed out loud, seeing these guys hanging outside the shop windows:

  The kiddie rides were a big hit, but unfortunately, they also hit your wallet pretty hard. In addition to entrance fees, you needed to buy tickets to go on the rides. These tickets are 95 cents each (so basically a dollar) and most of the rides are 2-4 tickets. The bobsleds were four, meaning it cost eight bucks for Lincoln and I to ride it. Once. Most of the kiddie rides were two tickets (I think), and the kids could go on those without us, so those were a bit cheaper at least. Lincoln's favorite was (unsurprisingly) the TRAIN! The train that looked like it was designed by a 12 year old girl using photoshop in the early 00's.

  Gooooood times. This train was like Enchanted Forest's version of the Casey Jr. train at Disneyland. This train led you through the sights of:

   Old McDonald's Farm! (Cows say: HELP ME)

 Elfland!

And Cinderella's castle, surrounded by Pinocchio's village. Aaaand . . . that's it. Those were the three sights. Though, to be fair, there could have been zero sights and Lincoln still would've been thrilled.

  Lincoln also had a grand old time on these motor boats. The second time he went the guy let them go for like 5-10 minutes, which was pretty awesome of him.

  Really, though, we spent three hours at Enchanted Forest and the kids had a blast. Lincoln watches those animatronic videos on my phone over and over. And even with entrance fees and the ride tickets, we were out about twenty-five bucks. Compared to Disneyland, that's parking money. So, while it may not be Disneyland standard, for the fun the kids had and the "wow" factor (not exactly a good "wow", though), it was well worth the price. I think it was a good bonding experience with Shanti, too. We both survived Enchanted Forest with minimal emotional scarring. I think we're the stronger for it.

THE DOCTOR WHO 50TH SPECIAL, AGHHHHH!!!!

   Ahem. For those of you who know Doctor Who, you know that the special was back in November. I'm catching up still, leave me be! Anyhoo, I was crazy excited for the 50th. CRAZY EXCITED. I looked up news on it daily. Maybe hourly. I bought tickets to see it in theaters the first day they went on sale. I talked about theories involving Rose's reappearance with my mom on the phone for weeks. She humored me.

  So, November 23rd shows up, and I'm beyond excited. We get a babysitter, we drive close to an hour to get to a theater that was showing it, and McKay even dresses up in his Halloween costume from the year before, the 11th Doctor (which I did not get a picture of, sadly). We're running slightly late, which has me practically tearing out my hair because DOCTOR WHO. AND LATENESS. I REALLY HATE LATENESS. So I have McKay drop me off while he looks for a parking spot, I run up to the ticket booth, print out the tickets, and--

  The savvy among you will notice that the date on this ticket is for the 25th. I had somehow never paid attention to the fact that the special was showing on the 23rd for TV, and the 25th in theaters. What was that about, anyway? 

  I was crushed and hugely embarrassed, but McKay was very nice about it. I think he got a bit tired of me saying, "I am an idiot. I am such a ginormous idiot" after the 80th time, though. We ended up seeing Ender's Game instead, with McKay still in his 11th Doctor glory (we did get a couple of turned heads, thanks for asking).  I thought they did a fabulous job with Ender's Game, by the by. McKay was ambivalent. To be fair, though, he had re-read the book recently, which seems to be a huge factor on whether you enjoyed it or not. 

  ANYWAY, two days later, back we went on the hour-long drive to get to the theater to finally see THE DOCTOR WHO 50th ANNIVERSARY EPISODE! We didn't even watch it online during the two day wait (which was probably the hardest thing I've ever done, including labor) because we wanted our first experience seeing it to be on the big screen. 

  It was awesome, seeing a bunch of other people that love Doctor Who as much as us. Well, me. McKay likes it a normal amount. Like I've said, I like it a crazy amount. And the beginning video with Strax talking about movie etiquette (and eating screaming popcorn with great relish) alone made the price of admission worth it. But the 3D was pretty freaking rad, too. 

  I managed to snap this photo on the way out (I know none of these people, but I admire them all greatly). I love Doctor Who nerds. We're the best. AND HOW INSANELY ACCURATE ARE THOSE DOLLS?! Best ever.

  Thank you, McKay, for going along with my obsessions! And thank you, Doctor Who, for being awesome.

Rash, Day 2!

So, here are three pictures of my arm. The first picture is from the beginning of the day, the second around noon, and the last a few minutes ago. I think it's progressing quite nicely.

One . . . 

Two . . . 

THREE!

  See, it's funny 'cuz in this last one, it almost looks like it's cleared up or something. WRONG. That sucker is ALL OVER ME. Those tiny white patches? Those are the ONLY PARTS NOT RASHY. All those little spots have multiplied into what is essentially one giant spot. All over me. My face looks like it's sunburned. MY RASH IS EATING ME, GUYS.

  Fun stuff! All I can think is . . . Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me? (dontcha? Dontcha?)

GUESS WHAT I GOT FOR MY BIRTHDAY?!

  A FULL-BODY RASH! Aren't I the lucky one?

  Turns out I'm allergic to some medications. It'll probably last a week or so. They also told me my skin could eventually peel off like a sunburn. Oh, baby!

  To make myself feel better, let's look at some pictures of fall going on!

It was so cloudy it was like nighttime when I took this pic, guys. Oregon-style!

One of my favorite parts of fall is the leaf confetti on the ground. So pretty!

   Hmm. Still not feeling great about the rash on my birthday dealio. Let's try some Lincoln pictures!

I had to document this because it's the first time Sylvester has every willingly laid on Lincoln's lap. BUDS. Lincoln, after being assured that Sylvester did not want to be laid on as well, did some excellent petting.

This was Lincoln's present to me this morning. 

  Any of you have unexpected birthday surprises?

Not Helping My Paranoia

  We ate out at a pizza place a few weeks ago. Apparently when groups of kids go, they give them crayons and paper plates to draw on to keep them busy. I had fun looking at the various pictures, but paused at this one:

   At least it's ok.

   P.S. Page 275 in my book. I don't know if I'd told myself four months ago that I would get to this point that I would have believed it. Even if nothing comes of it, I'm proud of me.

Canada Vacation Photo Dump

 The mason jars have gone too far, guys.

 Lincoln was the one to pull the hat off the shelf and put it on his head, but do you know how long it took to get a picture that wasn't a complete blur? TOO LONG, GUYS. TOO LONG. But here it is--baby in a cowboy hat. Almost makes it seem worthwhile.

 It's impossible not to take a gorgeous picture in Waterton. I know I've said that before and I WILL SAY IT AGAIN AND FOREVER. Also, how cute is Lincoln in a vest, right?

 Livi, Ebby, and Autumn posing at Waterton Falls. Nicole told Livi to give her best pose, and Livi IMMEDIATELY did the arm-over-the-head. I wish I had that confidence.

 Especially since this is the only picture I got of myself while in Waterton. I should've tried the arm thing, too.

 One time, it rained SO HARD and SO LONG, the crystal clear lake became clear as mud. It was shocking. I probably took about twenty of these pictures on my way to the airport.

 Also about fifty of THESE pictures because flooding, guys! Major, major flooding!

That's a CAR in there. FLOODING, guys! Isn't it crazy?

  I didn't take a single picture of golfing, or of our main source of recreation, board games (I miss the board games . . . ). Or of many things. But I got the mason jar goblets and the all-important flooding, so we're good, right?

  Also, I'm on page 189 of my book, suckas! I might actually finish this thing by the end of the year. Ooh, just got a shiver typing that. And it's dang hot, so you know it's for reals. 

  Also also, currently addicted to Mass Effect 3. And *SPOILER* Thane, why would you charge a guy with a sword when you have a friggin' GUN? Don't you know that the advantage was yours, he brought a SWORD to a GUN FIGHT. *sigh* Thane . . . 

Not a Real Post

  Hey guys.

  Sorry for the lack of posting lately. I'm kind of in a blogging depression right now. You know how sometimes missionaries ask people if they ask themselves who they are, why they're here, where they're going, etc etc? It's kind of that, but it's more like, "Why am I blogging? Does anyone really give a crap? I've been doing this for three years, and still have next to no readers." Not that it should matter. About readers, that is. I mostly blog because I like to write, and I like to make people laugh.

  But sadly, it does kind of matter. To me, anyway. Stupidly.

  Anyway, that's why I'm slacking. Also, I feel like I need to do some vacation posts, and it takes so long to upload pictures, then edit them and blah blah blah.

  BUT I haven't been off the writing bandwagon. I've actually written over FORTY PAGES of my book in the last week. I know, whaaaaa? Who is this motivated person, and what have they done with Julia? Strangely, the game Candy Crush is a great motivational tool. When I run out of lives, I write for the half hour it takes to get another life. When I crash and burn on that life, I write another half hour.

  BRAGGING TIME: I wrote nine pages this morning during Lincoln's nap. Then we walked almost four miles to the landlord's office to pay rent (and it's friggin' hot here [humidity is the worst]). Then I went to buy an air conditioner and carried it in the house all by myself.

  I'm pretty much Wonder Woman today.

  What about you guys? What've you been up to the last three weeks?

You Get What You Pay For. Especially When It's Free.

  A little while back, we got a flyer from our local Toyota dealer with scratchers on it. We got to scratchin' and--SURPRISE!-- we won! Of course we knew it had to be too good to be true, a scam of some sort. There were only four prizes listed--a new car, $5000 in cash, $100 in gift cards (with a picture showing itunes, Starbucks, and Walmart giftcards), and another awesome-looking prize I can't remember. Anyhoo, we called the dealership and we were assured that we did in fact win one of those four prizes, we didn't have to listen to any car sales spiels, etc. So we figured, hey, why not?

  I drove down to the dealership and, after being questioned for a few minutes about my car (I quickly informed them I love my car and couldn't afford a new one even if I didn't), they awarded me my prize--gift cards! It was the worst prize listed, but hey, I wasn't going to sneer at free money-like things on a card.

  Unlike what was shown on the flier, however, the giftcards were not for itunes, Starbucks, Walmart, or any other place I might actually want to spend money. They were $25 for four different internet shops. A leather one, a pots and pans one, a electronics one, and one that could be SkyMall's inbred cousin. I figured, okay, I'll just buy one cheap thing at each store. I'm getting free stuff out of this, I don't care, whatever.

  Looking at the websites (which I refuse to list because I'm not giving them any traffic), it was obvious they were all owned by the same company, since they were all the exact same layout. They were all also hecka expensive. Not that you didn't see that coming. But, McKay and I managed to find a little something at each place.

  Here are the goods:

  A set of speakers, a hair trimming set, a leather bracelet, a cheese grater, and a duster.

  The good:

 I quite like the bracelet, actually. It was $27 dollars, so I ended up paying about $5 for it including the shipping (that's where they getcha), but I feel like it was worth five bucks. I can swing that.

 

  Whew. It took me WAY too long to get these two pictures next to each other and be able to type underneath them again. Get your crap together, blogger, that should not have been so difficult. And all of that just to say, I have no quarrel with these objects. They both function as they should. Carry on, cheese grater and duster.

The Bad:

  McKay picked the hair trimmer set because his current hair-buzzy thing (can't think of the name right now) is dying. This one, however, has never worked at all. Lincoln currently uses it as a cell phone, holding it up to his ear, walking around the living room and laughing/garbling to himself. The scissors are also reminiscent of what you give to first graders with Elmer's glue and tell them to get crackin' on a collage. McKay said they (the scissors) don't really cut at all. They're pretty good at bending hair, though. If that's what you're into.

  Here is a video of the speakers: 

And, yes, we were listening to a Dave Barry book audio-style. Dave Barry audiobooks remind me of long car drives to Utah as a child.

   So, yeah. Mixed bag there. But when car dealerships are giving away hundreds of giftcards, I guess your expectations shouldn't be too high. You can live vicariously through me, though, I've done the work so you don't have to wonder about those scratcher flyers ever again. Unless you're in the market for a moderately satisfactory cheese grater or duster. Then by all means, go for it.

Progress

  I'm writing again. Really writing. I finally finished my book outline, and in the last week or so I've written about 20 pages. Pretty good pages, too. I'm really excited about it.

  For my midterm paper for Modern American Literature, my teacher always gives a creative option. I've had this teacher five times, and this is the first time I've taken the creative option. When handing back papers, my teacher paused with mine and said she wanted to talk to me about it.
  "Was it bad?" I asked immediately.
  "No. It was damn good, Julia. Damn good." She wanted me to perform it for the class.

  I'm happy when I write. There aren't many things that come naturally to me, but writing is one.


  I so want to be an author.

  So, so much.

  I feel small admitting that. Why am I embarrassed? Why do I feel like I need to apologize?

  I'm going to go back to my book now.

  . . . Thanks for reading, guys.
 I mean it.
 Thank you.

Day 20: Three Significant Childhood Memories

   Hey, I'm a trend starter! Who would've thought? If you want to see the other people doing the Thirty Day Challenge, click here for my sister's blog, here for my brother's, and here for my cousin's. They're all much funnier than me, too. Darn it. If any of you other bloggers out there were wanting to do this as well, by all means, please do! I meant to say that from the beginning, I'd love to read your answers.

   Anyway, back to today's question. I'm going to skip the "significant", and just stick with the "childhood memories" bit. You can decide if they're significant or not. And, really, thinking about it, most of my childhood memories are snippets, not really complete thoughts, and not that interesting when told in detail. But here's some tastes of my childhood:

  My brother James and I were playing in the bar area of the huge house we lived in for two years. Since we're, you know, all Mormon-y and whatnot, the bar was an area of the house that was hardly touched. James and I were playing Bartender or something, though, and James kept ordering half-and-halfs of lemonade and chocolate milk. After the third one, I asked, fascinated and disgusted, if it actually tasted good. "No. It tastes terrible." He said, and vomited shortly after.

  Acting out the "This Isn't My Idea of Fun" song from "Swan Princess" with my brothers.

  Singing and talking to myself in the backyard.

  Playing Alligator and Colors in the pool with my siblings.

  The time I laughed so hard I fell off the kitchen counter where I was perched and hit my head. Mom was crying because I got wrong how many fingers she held up and I just felt so, so sleepy.

  Car trips, watching old "Simpsons" episodes on the mini TV Mom and Dad set up for us. Also, always, always spilling the Fun Dip Mom bought for me for said car trip. Every time I would promise I wouldn't spill and she would cave, and I would inevitably spill that sticky powder everywhere. I love Mom even more thinking about how she always bought it for me anyway, even though she probably knew in her heart of hearts it would happen again. You can't trust me with not spilling, even today.

  Telling Kellie she could have my Beanie Baby collection when I died and she yelled, "I can't wait!".

  My sister Nicole practicing cheers with me in the pool. She would launch me in the air and I felt like I was flying.


  What are some of your childhood memories that've stuck with you?

Day 19: If I Could Live Anywhere, Where Would it Be and Why

  Disneyland.

  Hey, you said ANYWHERE.

  I'd want to live in one of those cute little apartments above Main Street, USA. Ooh, or one of the ones in New Orleans Square!

  Think about it: Someone else cooks all your meals. When you spill, Sweepers come by and and it's cleaned up. Also, no dishes for you to scrub!

  And, lots of exercise. I'm pretty sure every time I go to Disneyland I walk 10-20 miles.

  Obviously, RIDES.

  Live music everywhere, bubbles floating everywhere from happy children with too-expensive bubble guns, and all of the themed EVERYTHING in every land that's kept up so well.

  Disneyland is also the only place with crowds I find relaxing.

  Man, I went a month ago and I'm already fighting the craving. I've got it bad.
 
  Where would you live?