Monday, February 22, 2010

Ten Things I've Learned From Buffy the Vampire Slayer

1. If a friend from your past suddenly comes into town, they are probably evil and have made a deal with some demon or another. The best course of action is to kill them immediately. It's pretty much inevitable.

2. No matter how many kids in your high school get killed by vampires, none of the living ones are ever intelligent enough to realize transferring may be a pretty good idea.

3. If you are ever somehow find yourself dating a vampire with a soul (not referring to Twilight here), it is NOT, a repeat NOT, a good idea to sleep with them. They will end up killing your friends and teachers and just be a big pain in the butt. So, unless you have pretty good control of your hormones, stick to humans.

4. British accents make people ten times sexier automatically. Unless you are Giles. Spike applies, however.

5. Vampires love to hang out outside of nightclubs. There should be at least one vampire devouring some helpless citizen every time you leave the one nightclub in town (which sixteen year olds are permitted to go to, no questions asked--irresponsible parenting, anyone?)

6. Cheesy lines are a requirement when you surprise/kill vampires. Most of them (the lines) can be predicted quite easily, but that is beside the point. It's the principle of the matter.

7. Apparently, overalls actually WERE in style at some point. I think my memory repressed this fact.

8. Be careful what you wish for, cuz it may end up with the whole town overrun by vampires and most of your friends being dead in an alternate reality glitch.

9. Killing vampires isn't that hard if you know kick boxing. That's what they all specialize in.

10. Getting re-addicted to Buffy the Vampire Slayer can take up a lot of your time. A LOT.


  1. Oh, I so know. I only made it through Eric's stint in Miami by watching the 3 episodes in a row that came on every weekday. Saturdays were so lonely...
    Plus, I think you were, like, 3 when that Buffy with the overalls was made!

  2. Nah, I was closer to seven or eight. Still, it's weird.
    I would also like to add to my list that apparently werewolfs look strikingly similar to a guy in a monkey costume.

  3. 11. All male models should die for ever daring to occupy valuable television time and distracting otherwise sensible women. Vampire models are some of the worst perpetrators.