"Hopes and Dreams are Shattering Apart "

Oh, Neil Patrick Harris, how you sum up how I felt when I found out that church buildings do not allow filming for commercial reasons! I tried to handle it like a big girl, but in the end, I realized I was going to be extremely depressed until I purged it all out. Meaning, sobbing convulsively in my room for about an hour while I could hear the pool boy outside banging the leaves from the filter into the trashcan, no doubt awkwardly trying to drown out my sound.

Yeah, good luck with that.

Anyway, in a couple hour's time, I felt quite a bit better and was headed on to Disneyland with one of my best friends. Ah, Disneyland, you cure all ills.

I realized in the end that as cool as a decked-out five layer cake and being on TV would be, if I had done it, that would have been the focal point of that day. Not my marriage. Not the decorations in the reception we're apparently paying way too much for. Not me. Not McKay. A cake and a filming crew. That would kinda suck to be upstaged by a cake.

So, I'm mostly over it. Mostly.

I think that my frustration was really boiling over when I looked at my bridal jacket, though. What really sold me on my dress was that I could have the Grace Kelly silhouette and still have the high collar that I wanted from a jacket. I had told them specifically what I wanted and tried on another jacket that was way too big and told them that was exactly what I wanted.

Twice.

They somehow managed to not do what I asked TWICE.

When I picked it up the first time, I told the tailor it wasn't what I wanted.

"Oh, yes, I remember you wanted that high neckline. I don't know how it didn't get done."

So, when I got it back the second time, I was confident it would be correct.

However, I didn't look at it until I got back to California.

Gosh freaking dang it.

My mom keeps telling me that all brides deal with things they don't like on their wedding day, everyone has things that don't go according to plan and keeps giving me examples. I KNOW. 

But that doesn't make me less frustrated about MY wedding not-quites.

Not trying to be a Bridezilla, but as the wedding is now SIX DAYS AWAY (holy crap!), it's getting harder and harder to let go of the little things (though as my bridal jacket will be in pretty much every picture, it still doesn't feel so little). I KNOW no one will know what it was supposed to look like. But I still know and it still bugs me.

Is that allowed? Can I just be immature about this?