Review of "Kiss Me Kate" . . .'s Audience

  Man, sorry about all my drag posts lately! I promise I'm not depressed or anything, I just seem to be posting during all my mood swings of late. I was hesitant to post that last one, but I felt like I should for some reason.

  Anyhoo, so, last weekend McKay and I went to test out some local flava by seeing the Corvallis Community Theater's "Kiss Me Kate". Can I just say I love this play? I've seen it twice before, once in London, and once at the Cedar City Shakespeare Festival (second biggest in the country). And, yes, I'm bragging about how cultured I am. So suck it, non-cultured people, I go to Shakespeare Festivals.

  McKay and I went on a special night. And by "special", I mean the night where two of the actors (one of them Kate) had colds, and therefore could not sing, Bianca had a pulled muscle (which we didn't know, we just thought she was a mediocre dancer), and half the cast was sick in one way or another.

  All things considered, though, none of that was enough to distract us from our fellow audience members.

  We thought maybe we had lucked out and would have no seat mates. About five minutes before the lights dimmed, though, an older man shoved past us to the seat next to McKay. We resumed our seats while he stood, looking over the small crowd for several minutes, making us feel a little uncomfortable, but we figured he was waiting for someone and wanted to make himself an obvious target.

  No one ever came, and he finally sat down. His aim was a little off, however, and he settled his buttocks on McKay's arm. I stifled my laughter as best I could.

 The elderly gentleman next to McKay also came with a bag of Sunchips and a Diet Coke. Both of which he consumed as loudly as is humanly possible. You try enjoying hilarious irony when next to you you hear the sound of rifling for the very last chip at the bottom of a very noisy bag. Both of which he dumped loudly to the floor when he finished. He did not return after intermission, and left his garbage as a sign of appreciation.

  He was not the only one destined to never return from the ten minute break. Several other older groups did not come back. I suspected this was due to the light sexual banter, but McKay pointed out that one of the men who did not return was the one who had snored loudly during "Wunderbar", so it was probably just past their bedtime.

  Gotta love community theater.