Friday, July 15, 2011

Why I Don't Update My Status Very Often

  I tried to update my status this morning, but unfortunately I was over a hundred characters too long for it to process. Brevity is a talent I do not possess. But, anyway, my heart is still pumping from my brief encounter (and I'm still refusing to go in my bathroom, despite a real need).
In the bathroom this morning, I was greeted by a gigantic, killing-machine spider (I could tell he/she was a killing machine by the look in their eyes). After a short round of screaming, I threw my Bathroom Reader on top of it, and jumped on top of said Bathroom Reader for a good amount of time. I do not have the guts to see if it is actually dead, however, and I am afraid to go back in there for fear its crippled body will start limping from out of the bottom of the book and start chasing me around the apartment with a chainsaw.
   Update: A second gigantic spider ran past me in my bedroom just a second ago. While I ran for something to kill it with, it hid from me. Maliciously. I could practically hear its evil giggles while I searched for it. I then maturely called McKay and started sobbing hysterically that I hate Oregon and want to move immediately. I'm thinking of going back to the desert, where its too hot for anything that can't afford air conditioning to live. Like spiders. Unless they're, like, tiny lawyer spiders or doctor spiders or something. 

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