That Better Have Added an IQ Point

  We've all seen those sensory bags/bins/bottles etc that are all the rage in Babyville these days, yeah? Basically, if you want your baby to have any sort of meaningful first months of life, it requires sensory whatsits. I've made a few little ones for Lincoln in the past, as is customary, no biggie, your standard food coloring and oil and water dealios. Then I recently saw one that used gel as a filler, and I became entranced. I must use gel, I thought. But I've been spending more than I'd like on our Halloween costumes, so I debated whether to spend that dollar on gel. Sad, I know, we're poor, whatevs.

This was the resulting inner argument:

ME: It's unnecessary, Julia. And all these dollars are gonna add up.

ME: But it's so Lincoln will have more experiences with stuff! That makes you smarter!

ME: Do you really think gel in a bag is going to make or break your baby's intelligence? Our parents probably didn't do that, and we were all above average.

ME: Above average in LANCASTER. And who knows, maybe we'd all be super geniuses if they had! We can't take that chance.

ME: You'd be a super genius if you'd had gel in a bag? Seriously?

ME: It's just one freaking dollar, Julia! That's worth the possibility of Lincoln being even more brilliant than he obviously already is.

ME: Fine, whatever. You're being a twat, though.

ME: Who says 'twat'? And yay!

  So, I took a detour at Fred Myer down the hair isle, hoping to find something for a dollar so I wouldn't have to make a separate trip to Dollar Tree. And, TA DA! there was shampoo for 89 cents! I'm SAVING eleven cents, plus gas, PLUS the shampoo smelled awesome and was purple. Pretty much a no-brainer. I also grabbed some teensy dinosaur toys for a buck to put in the bag. My brain just rolled its eyes at me in response.

  I got home and excitedly put the bag together. I added some dry noodles and beans for extra potential smartness, duct taped the sides, and voila! I handed it to Lincoln with a flourish. He was immediately captivated by the beauty and genius of this new, gel-like sensory bag.

  . . . for about twenty seconds. Then he went back to gnawing on a spatula.

 ME: Told you so.

 ME: Shut up.

  Also, I guess the reason they used gel rather than cheap shampoo is because shampoo makes bubbles that make it hard to see anything in it. Oops.

P.S. putting the noodles in was also a mistake. They tend to get soggy when wet. Doy. Ugh, me.