After 8 weeks of my bigoted teacher's rants against religion, I left class early today because I couldn't stop crying.
Not because of his latest abuses against religion (apparently I must be "self-righteous" and "racist"). I can take that. Growing up Mormon, you learn to have a thick skin because you're an easy target. Even when he looked me straight in the eyes during one of these rants, knowing full well of my religious background, I didn't crack. Even when he interrupted my one attempt at defending myself and my religion, I just rolled my eyes and decided to let him have out.
It was when a kid in the front row raised their hand and said, "I think you're being really offensive. I'm not even religious and I think you're being offensive" that my eyes started to water. People sticking up for me (or just showing kindness in general) has always been a soft spot for me. But naturally it was assumed I must be crying because of the religious rants (to the couple in the back who pointed me out and laughed--thanks. That was great.)
Unfortunately, when I start to cry, I get extremely embarrassed. It's too vulnerable. Also, my whole face turns splotchy, and my nose/area around my mouth turn beet red, which is lovely. So I continued to cry due to mortification at my crying in public. It was okay when it was just a few tears. But then came the snot. I tried to make due at first, but it quickly became obvious I had two options: 1.) Leave class or 2.) Grab some kleenex and come back. Not wanting the class to think it was that easy to run me out (plus not wanting to miss vital notes for our final), I grabbed some toilet paper and headed back, thinking I had it under control, anyway.
I didn't. After about a minute, the humiliation crept back in and the tears/snot started flowing again. A second return from the bathroom was more than I could handle. After using up the toilet paper I'd brought back, I decided to duck out early.
Anyway, to the person in the front row: thank you. Also, I hate you, because you made me cry.
What in the world???? What class were you taking? People are insane. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I would have FREAKED OUT. Probably would have been way more embarrassing than crying. Wish I was there to do that for you :)
ReplyDelete